2018 - July
july 2 ft Vriska the spider creep, fishbulg the first fish to walk on land, no name the dater gone wronger, Romona the i don't even fcking know, star the eagle who could only say thx. Part 1 - the beginning of the weirdness. That morning he met 2 birds at island 1 named Romona and No name. Romona: she runs around getting exited every time he texts her Noname: i kept having dreams about her not being pregnant, i had dreams like that 3 days in a row Nigel: hi? No name: paco? Noname: aw:) Nigel: da...fuc.... Romona: your sis got a crush too? nn: yes, a boy named poncho nn: oh i mean pancho Romona: pancho? odd Nigel: isnt poncho some kinda clothing. nn: yeah, but it different spelling his name Romona: my lil sis says his real name jesus so just a nick name Nigel: i dunno wtf is going on after that he decided to leave, not wanting to continue listening to their weird a__ conversation. he headed to industry 1, where he ended up questioning some bird named "notVriska"about her name, suspecting her of being Angryswan as usual. now, Vriska was already a bit of a weirdo, she liked replacing "b" with "8" for some unknown reason. this was how their first conversation went.. "vriska: what the Nigel: o.o . hi who are you? Vriska: hi i'm vriska serket, i have an addiction to 8reaking 8 8alls. Nigel: tf Vriska: 8 = b" After being ignored when he asked her the question, he decided to try again. instead of answering, Vriska flew over to one of the bins, before cursing at it. she told Nigel "yo see if these 8ins are 8roken for you too", so he asked what she meant by "broken". she explained that they only spammed you with stuff, instead of giving you twigs and food like they were supposed to. he flew over to one and tried it out, but it acted normal, so he went back to Vriska and told her that they were acting perfectly normal for him. she stood there, looking at the bin, before saying ""instead of 1 thing they'll throw like, 8000 things @ u @ onc". as she attempted again to get a twig from the bin, Nigel decided to ask her his question again. she told him "irony, my dear 8oy" for some reason, while he told her that he knew someone else who liked to use "not" in their name. "i really dont feel like dealing with that one today". She finally answered, claiming "well, i am not him, i am not even a him in the first place" "i am vriska ::::::)", so he told her about Angryswan and how he used "Not" in his name to mock the people that he cloned. she told him that she simply did it to her name to amuse herself, before complaining about how her nest wouldn't "8reak apart". Nigel asked her if she was new to flab3, for most older players know who the Swan was, but she didn't seem to know. she told him that she was "kind of" new. after that, they didn't talk for a while, Vriska waiting for her nest to die, and Nigel trying to do all the old industry glitches. he had heard that the Ravenwoods people had apperently ruined all of the old glitches, so he was trying them out himself to see if it was true. Vriska eventually spoke up again, asking "Well. what else do we do?" "i'm 8ored". Nigel decided to go and check if there was anyone else around, and found that there were a couple of birds at island 2. he told Vriska, but she didnt seem enthused, so he told her "Well. you said you were bored?". she said "eeehhh f it, why not! lets go home8oy!", and left. - part 2- the dating game Nigel got to island 2 first, and found No name and Romona again. No name was telling romona about his little sister, "my lil sis, ya... she's wild...", while she laughed at his comments. No name asked Romona if he could have her number, claiming that he'd give it to her if she gave him hers. vriska, who had just entered, claimed "ooooooooo, stepped into some flirting here huh :::::)" while Romona told No name that she wanted his little sisters number instead(because that totally dosn't sound like she's some 40 yr old creep looking for kids phone numbers!). No name told her ok, giving out the phone number and not realizing that he had just posted it on Flab3 for all of the world to see. Vriska mean while said "ur family reunion homosexual communion!" so Nigel told her "well, it rhymes, i'll give you that." Ramona, not expecting No name to just blurt out the number right then and there, asked him "wtf??" while Nigel told the idiot "you just gave out someone's phone number for the world to see, ty idiot!". vriska said "8y jove" to this, while dumbass said "uh.. wait what", before realizing the mistake he had made. he yelled at nigel not to do anything with it, as if that would fix it, while Romona told nigel "no u r" after he called noname and idiot. Nigel told no name "ahahahaha, i have it now!!!!" so No name told him "no, only romona!". he was told "the whole world has the number now" by Nigel, before being called a dumbass. Romona told No name that he could tell his sister to block the number, before calling Nigel a bitch, while Vriska said "you are a motherf**er?" No name told Nigel "bro, i'm not dumb, neither is Romona", so Nigel told him that giving out phone numbers over a flying bird game wasnt exactly smart. No name finally decided to ignore Nigels comments, and instead started describing himself to Romona for no apparent reason, she hadn't asked for his description of his "hazel green eyes". (still not sure if he was actually describing himself, or making a stupid comment about how he was "smart", it literaly was just "bro im smart, oh btw i have hazel green eyes", like, w t f"). Romona ignored his eye comment, and asked him to give him his sisters phone number again, so he told her he would do it only if Nigel and vriska left. she told him she didn't care, claiming that she could block the phone number, even though that makes absolutely no sense because if the phone number is blocked then she cant call the sister. Nigel told No name that him and vriska(who was describing her eyes to No name as being "yellow and having 8 pupils in each") wern't going to be leaving any time soon, using the "this is a multiplayer game" excuse. they were ignored, instead Romona finally caught on to the self describing game and told No name that she had hazel eyes with small pupils. Nigel asked why they were describing themselves, while Vriska complained about the game, "underdeveloped, no accounts, no 8locking, what the hell is this". No name told them that his right pupil was smaller then his left, so Nigel asked what the fasination with eyes was today. Vriska told them that her left eye was "8blown up", before laughing as though it were hysterical, while No name told nigel that it wasn't any of his business. he called him "or not whatever your name is" so he told him "its nigel." "nigel the seegul." before mocking his poor english skills, calling it "perfect english right there". the idiot told him "yea, it is", not realizing that it was a sarcastic statement. Nigel told him "and you dont understand sarcasm either.." Noname got fed up with Nigel's constant comments, and told him to leave him and romona alone, while Romona asked him "want nude look at ur d***". Nigel simply said "um...." "wtf has this game come to?" while No name told her "yea" for no reason. Vriska stated laughing "huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu" while No name told them he wouldnt be sending anyone nudes, "like hell i'd do that". Nigel told him "well... ya already gave em your phone number.." "she can probably look through the camera now ;)" so he told nigel "no." Nigel finished his comment, saying "at yo", while he decided to change the subject, asking about what type of phone Romona had, claiming that he had himself as "grey iphone 8 plus". she told him he had a 7 +, before telling Nigel "bitch i got a bf!". No name said "oh, we both have pluses" while Nigel asked Romona "then why are you asking him to send ya nudes if ya got a bf already". vriska started describing her "Spider watch", claiming it was great for trolling and stuff, while No nam facepalmed for no reason. meenwhile, Vriska told them to"Send nukes". - part 3 - Fish out of water. Some dude named "Fishbulg" then decided to show up. Romona continued calling Nigel a dumbass, No name was asking Romona to ask "ella" to give him her phone number claiming that he wouldn't do anything to her tho, and Vriska was spamming hooyhlhrtsjugtuhtuitegabtigneigndga" for no apparent reason. Fish asked "wwhat... what the f did i just wwalk into?" so Nigel told him "dont ask me. its...... scay o_o". Vriska started screaming aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa over and over, while Nigel asked fish "and, who tf are you?". he got no answer, instead fish told Vriska "nothing of importance". Vriska was telling him "eridan wyd" for some unknown reason. she then told Fish to get in the water, calling him a fool and a "f * c k i n seadweller". Nigel sat in one of the beach chairs and watched while Fish and Vriska argued over wether or not Fish belonged in the sea or on land. he then said "Well, maybe it dosn't need water?" but was told to f off by Fish. Romona continued asking No name to give her pics, so Fish told him "send landdwellers!". No name and Romona continued their chat, Romona: Give ella ur phone so she can put in" Noname: can look at her phone to see what it is? and i can put it in? Romona: she put in plz! Noname: i am uncomfy already......" Vriska said "eridan, i already have to kill people to free my lusus please" "spidermom is demanding" so Fish told her "I DONT CARE ABOUT THE HEALTH OF YOUR TROLL-EATING GOD DAMNED LUSUS". Vriska told him "may8e you two should meet some day :::::::)" meenwhile, Nigel had had enough of No name and Romona's weird convo, so he flew over to where they were, in the volcano, and killed them, stating with Romona. No name said "i have a foul tongue!!", so he asked "you do?" "how nice." Fish asked Vriska to inform him of what the f was even happening, so Nigel decided to tell him himself, claiming "they're trying online dating, but its failing". Vriska said "she cares a8out you genocide complex, eridan." so fish laughed at her. Vriska then claimed that she wished the Auto-scroll text thing existed, so No name agreed with her, saying that the new chat system was annoying as hell. Fish asked "wwhat the f? is your autoscroll broken vvri?" while Nigel told them that it didnt even exist, for the Ravenwoods people had removed it. Fish happily told them that he possessed autoscroll, before turning around to face nigel, smiling like some creep. he told him "well good 4 you", while he flew away fro him. vriska asked Fish "are you gog?" so he told her "possibly" "if the mighty vvriska god". vriska said "gog of fefei's noo-" and was answered "lets me take her plac.... asdhjkjglhihggfdfsd". Nigel asked if Romona and Noname had left and got the answer that Romona had but No name was still there. vriska called Fish a "thirsty seadweller" while Fish claimed "andreww hussie did 9'11" for no reason. (wtf is it with the double w's?) Nigel asked why he had to bring that kind of thing into the conversation, but didnt get an answer. instead Vriska said gnagenrigiogingaingaieigrnai", and fish told them "filthy landwwellers in my swwamp". he then told Vriska to check her "privvilege", so she told him "eridan i cant". No name told Nigel "your a weird guy" so he told him "eh, i aint the one who gives out phone numbers to random strangers, nn". so Fish and Vriska both said "n." at the same time, copying nigel. vriska: n. Fish: n. Noname: poopers. Nigel: ._. - part 4 - TAXT HAR NN fish then asked "wwait... should i..?" and divebombed into the water, killing himself. vriska and Nigel just stood on the beach and watched, Vriska calling him a dum8ass fish man and nigel critisizing the fact that a fish just drowned itself right in front of them. he then commented on the fact that Fish should have been swimming, not walking and flying, so Vriska told him "he has fins." Nigel asked "then how tf did it walk around while Vriska tld him "gills, smooth gru8 scars, the like." while Nigel and Vriska kept arguing over the walking fish, someone named "uranian umbra"(who was totally not a re-named fish guy) showed up. Nigel asked if it was the fish guy, while Vriska told umbra "greeetings! :::::::::)". Vriska asked nigel "is it?" so he said "is it." in return. Umbra asked what they were talking about, so Nigel asked him if he was the fish guy who left a few minutes ago. he told him "i fear i might not know who you are reffering to :u" and got "yea yea......." in return. he told nigel "im sorry for not being of assistance." so Nigel ignored him, simply saying "fish guy." Romona then returned, and apon seeing that Vriska and Nigel were still there, said "crap". Nigel laughed at her, while Vriska and Umbra copied Nigel's Fish guy comment. Nigel told Romona "hi again =)" while No name, who must have been sleeping or something the whole time, realized that she had returned. She asked him if he would "Taxt" her, so he told her that he wouldn't, for some reason it had to do with his little sister. meenwhile Umbra asked Vriska "would calliope canonically be able to" while she told him "gog im hungry.." she started spamming gibberish, "holyhynsantaniigea" "rnaqgreainogregiongegenioogngiea" before saying "you're gogdamned right." Nigel had caught on to Romona's bad spelling, and yelled at no name , saying "HAY NN YA TAXTAD HAR YAT?", while Umbra said "oh boy.", realizing that Romona and No name were starting their weird dating crap again. Romona left, not wanting to put up with Nigel's crap again, even though no name was trying to tell her that his sister had copied her name earlier. it was then quiet for a bit, Umra flying around with no real reason while Vriska tended to her "little swirly egg". No name decided to end the peace and quiet, attacking Vriska for no reason so Nigel yelled "hey!!" at him. Vriska ignored no name, and instead said "and you already turned into a giant snake for it too.. tsk" so Nigel decided to deal with No name himself and started killing him. NN tried to play dumb, asking "what happend", but died anyways. meenwhile, Umbra told Vriska to shut up, telling her that he didnt talk about her "species reproduction methods", so No name, who had returned, said "why u talkin all sciency". vriska told umbra ".............welll if you want to make 8ucket jokes i deserve it - at this point". she was answered "i am not that indecent, darling! u_u" so she told him "good! ;;;;)". umbra said "i am, in every possible way" but was ignored. after a few minutes, Vriska said "yes? am what?" so Umbra answered her, saying he was starving. they then chatted about Flab3's censor system for a while, before Vriska told Umbra to get a "nice leaf um8rella" to hide from incoming sh*tstorms with. Umbra flew up to the mountain and said "this is an undying umbrage?", while Vriska told them "t h e y l i v e not today". Umbra walked to the edge of the mountain and just stood there, before asking why no one got her casual caliborn joke. Nigel asked what the joke was suposed to be about, so Vriska asked him if he had read a comic called Homestuck. he told her haddnt, and that he'd look at it later. they told him he should read all 8130 pages of it, before telling him what it was about. vriska: its about kids Umbra: who play a game Vriska: a special game Umbra: wrong Umbra: english showed up Vriska: uiguiaugeuiiuiugbuiaiugeaui you dont see me for a while tho calliope takes a h e l l of a time t show up. - Part 5 - t h e s k y d a d d y after Spamming :::::) over and over, Vriska decided to ask the other one if they had any "raw meat" in their room, to which she was answered "probebly! i'd have to check..". she asked if she could have some and was told that she sure could. Nigel asked why she would want that, while she told Umbra "i can't digest your glitter very well, yknow :::)" (uh.. where tf is this even going). Nigel asked why she would want to eat "glitter", but was ignored, she spammed "iohnghoaniogioae" "f uc l" for Umbra had re-named himself "hOnk" and was trying to convince her that he was someone else. she called him a "f___ing clown 8oy", while he asked her if she had "slamed a faygo" recently. she told him "no. no i have not" so he told her that she should consider taking a sip of some "wicked elixir". Nigel flew over to where hOnk was standing, and ended up accidentally pooping on him, so he did it back and started a fight. as she watched the pathetic poo fight, Vriska told hOnk that she wasn't going to be succumbing to his "gogforsaked clown religion". He told her "c'mon, lighten up a bit will ya?", while Nigel asked what Gog was supossed to mean. she told him "yknow, gog. that fake sky daddy". "you mean god?" "same thing" "f a k e!" "s k y" "d a d d y" She told hOnk that he was right on that, while he said that gog was also known as the "Mirthful messiahs". Vriska told hOnk to "go f___ his gogdamned messiahs" and was taken aback when he randomly left, apperently insulted. she just stood there, before saying "well s___ i killed him". When he returned, he was greeted with "gogdammit!!!", for vriska didn't seem happy to see him again. he called her a motherf__er and spammed "Honk" before departing again. Vriska just stood there on her palm tree, before saying "i cant", while Nigel asked what was even going on. he then started walking in circles for no reason, while Vriska said "hussie hell!". she then started congradulating some eagle named star on her egg that had just hatched. she thanked her, while Nigel said "poor star, she'f just flying around like "wtf is wrong with these ppl". Star thanked Nigel for that for some unknown reason. hOnk then returned, now named "FVCK" and asked if anyone had seen his "stupid dumf____ moirail". he then told nigel "less then whats wrong with you all probably" before asking Vriska where "gamzee" was. Vriska said "ah, yes, is that 8eloved karkat? :::::)" "he screamed honl and disappeared." she then asked Nigel, who had mentioned knowing someone by that name a while ago, "wh- why do you know gamzee?" and fvck asked him "*how* do you know gamzee?" while audibly sweating. Vriska said "dear gog... he's multiplying", while Nigel told them that he had seen someone with that name at city1 once. "all i know is that i met someone with that name like a year or so ago at c1". Fck told him "grub f___er best be safely slamming a faygo" while vriska spammed "gabgrgejreaggigrea". fvck explained that he didn't want this Gamezee person, who ever he was, to go hurting other people, before claiming to have read "c1" as "act1". Nigel told him what c1 meant, claiming that it was what lazy people called it, so Fvck told him "well i'm not that f___ing stupid you know!". Nigel said "sorry o.o" while fvck moved on to asking Vriska if she shouldn't be sparring with her "moirail" at that point. she told him "vriska isnt here."(she was re named ArachnidsGrip). Nigel asked what Moirail was, so fvck told him that it was "troll romance". Vriska told him to stop explaining it, claiming that Nigel wouldn't understand for humans didnt have quadrants. fvck told her "well, its their own fault for being culturally ignorant" "next what?" "a bucket to my head?" "no sorry. been there done that!"(err.. is he goin insane?). vriska corrected him on that, claiming that humans wern't culturally ignorant, it was just their 8iology. fvck simply told him to f___ off, before flying to the other side of the island, as far away from vriska as he could be. vriska continued, explaining that humans couldn't even understand basic "kismesis" and other stuff like that. Nigel asked them what Kismesis was. Nigel: "kismesis?" fvck: "........ dont ask" Vriska: "dont ask" Nigel: "*asks* wtf is that." - part 6 - it gets weird as f Fvck decided to give in and told Nigel that he'd be more then happy to explain troll romance to him, claiming that it was his "schtick" after all. Vriska said "oh no..." while fvck started explaining, probably with some creepy ass grin on his face all the while. fvck: "where the f should i start..." vriska:"your sh__tty novels aren't-" fvck:"come again, vriska?" vriska: "matesprits, humans have those." Nigel: "matesprits?" fvck: "the most basic form of troll romance!" Vriska: "humans are that 8asic too, karkat." fvck: "its essentially the same as what humans call love." "i'm completely aware." vriska: "i don't like it either 8ut thats just how they work." Nigel: "your human tho." fvck: "ha. ha-ha-ha. ya here this guy?" vriska: "hahahahahaaah." Nigel: "uh...." fvck: "good joke buddy! humored me lots." Nigel: "this is getting kinda creepy.." fvck: "(:b" vriska: "humans don't understand" Nigel: "i'ma seegull " Nigel: "you were explaining what kismesis is?" Vriska: "do you "really" want me to explain it in graphic detail?" fvck: "yes" vriska: "ok" fvck: take it away, sekret spinneret Vriska: fucking scroll reeeeeeeeeeeee oh my god ahem , my message fvck: i cant Nigel: you were explaining what kismesis or whatever it is is? vriska: when you loathe another troll with every fi8er of your 8eing, 8ut your also interested in them in... other ways. : Nigel: tf fvck: fvck: its called hatefuck homeslice vriska: hah fvck: i love tramatizing children. vriska: little gru8s Nigel: i'm not a kid. fvck: doubt Nigel: how old are you? fvck: 8 sweeps Nigel: your 8? vriska: yes 8 fvck: no 8 sweeps Nigel: your 8? n ur callin me a kid? vriska: gog no *long silence* After a while. fvck: "hey nigel. have you heard of. the green mother f___ing sun!" Vriska: "oh gog." Nigel: ...? "the suns orange? or yellow? or whatever." fvck: "your aware that there isn't only one sun" "right?" Nigel: "um, yes there is?" after that weird !@# conversation, Nigel decided to help stars nest, but ended up getting killed by the bin. before he went back to island 1, he saw that there were 2 people at city1. he decided to check who it was, and found Romona and No name there. he simply gave them a e_e face before leaving. when he got back to the island, Vriska was telling the other one " i know". Nigel asked what she knew, so fvck told him "humans are f___ing stupid." Nigel told him again "but ur human?" which got him a facepalm from vriska. she told him "you really don't get it, do you, "nigel"?" so he asked her ""Nigel" ? why the " ?". he didn't get an answer, instead Vriska told fvck "karkat wyd" to which she got the answer "failing not the starve, vriska". they then had this conversation. fvck: "tell Nigel to meet you at the walmat bathrooms or we...." Vriska: "8r8, looking for food." fvck: "thats your thing isn't it." Nigel: "uh... i'm not meeting you at walmart." fvck: "8:08 SHARP!" Nigel: "theres no walmarts where i live" "i live on an island" fvck: "well too bad!" "were dragging you to an alternian walmart then!" "alternian" "f___k!" Romona returns: "hey where is trinpre?" Nigel: "where you left him." Romona: "e_e" Nigel was then BRB for a few minutes, and when he returned everyone was quiet. he flew over to fvck and pooed on him, hoping to get a reaction but he didnt. instead, fvck just stood there staring off into space. eventually Vriska spoke up, yelling at fvck to get off the ground. she flew down to where he was and stood in front of him, and the two ended up having what looked like some sort of stare down. after about 10 minutes (i rlly wish i was exaggerating...), vriska told him "contacting karkat on trollian rn." before flying away from fvck. after that, he just flew around doing nothing. he ended up watching some Eagle named "Crane" continusly crash into trees. he'd crash into one, get up, and fly right into another. fvck, now re-named Caligulas, claimed "he has no style. he has no grace". Nigel eventually got bored, an asked the two if they wanted to poo fight, but he got this in reply. Nigel: "anyone want to poo fight?" Caligulas: "killing is no joke!" Nigel: "i always poo fight with ppl" Caligulas: "called keeping feferi's lusus wwell fed." or else they'll exterminate all troll kind." Arachnidsgrip: "as a royal narcissist you have a very high ego."